Predicting How I Might Die

Not that I'm planning for this to happen, but based on how I tend to deal with people and things, and how my mind has always been really negative, and just how my overall life has always been...I predict that I might commit suicide.

Don't know enough to make assumptions

So lately I've realized that most of my posts have been about dealing with the realization that not everyone is "good" through an adventist perspective. i guess it has STILL been a lot to take in being friends with people who do things that you see as sinful. but at the same time i've realized that all my silent condemnations have made me what i swore i would never become: a conservative christian .

today i learned that to make assumptions about people who do things that you have not had any experience in...is actually pretty foolish. its like being someone who has never eaten anything sugary...and pointing fingers at someone else who eats sugary things and claiming he/she is (or will be) diabetic.

i confess i made a mistake. but at the same time i will also say this: your environment a lot of times makes you who you are...you tend to turn into the people you hang out with (props to elissa imai). and so while it is not right to judge...(especially with something you do not know a lot about...or you've only learned about through one perspective) it is still not smart to overdose yourself with something that can later influence you to be part of it.

mmkay thas it...








man i need a shower

Free Admission

[this is kind of an old song i wrote about two years ago]

Free Admission

Verse 1:
I’m walking on this gravel road
I’ve got nothing in my shoes but stones and thorns
At my ankles

I’ve been walking for a long time
But I won’t stop ‘cause I got this map
That God created and He wanted me to have
It’s hard to read but it’s still guiding me

Prechorus:
And now I understand
No I can see clearer
So much better than
The times when I had to ask

Chorus:
Am I dirty/Am I unholy to Your eyes
Because that’s how I feel
I want to be different inside
Because You know my name
You promised me a place
With free admission called Your amazing grace

Verse 2:
But I don’t feel like I deserve it
‘Cause I’ve been living a life of hurting
Dirting, crying, thirsting
For something good

Prechorus:
I could not see Your light
But You were here the entire time
And now I have Your insight
The Holy Word
The greatest story told
The answers to my questions


Chorus:
Am I dirty/Am I unholy to Your eyes
Because that’s how I feel
I want to be different inside
Because You know my name
You promised me a place
With free admission called Your amazing grace


Bridge:
And I’m still walking on this gravel road
I’ve got nothing in my shoes but stones
Now I know that You are guiding me
So I will keep on walking
Knowing that You’re here with me

I wish I wouldn't care...

Nowadays I'm finding it very difficult to handle pressure. Last summer I had experience a lot of discomfort with some friends of mine that I do not usually hang out with a lot while on a little "vacation" weekend (at one point they pretended to be drunk to make me uncomfortable or mad...it kinda worked). There were lots of alcohol and drugs involved...I ended up hanging out on the balcony of our room a lot by myself talking on the phone (God Bless you Elissa Imai and Wesley Martins for keeping me company and being my distraction on the phone). This was the group of people who I grew up going to church with....and even now I see both friends and family who I have known since we were kids wasting their lives or doing things they shouldn't be doing, lying to their parents, stealing, getting into all sorts of "substances", etc.

Now that I'm older it's easier to see how many people are hypocrites or "rebels". They go to church, they get involved in church, they say they love God, then the next day they'll probably just get wasted. I'm having a hard time dealing with all of this because it includes a lot of my friends and family. Sometimes I wish I was never raised in a Christian home. That I would've never really gotten into church or doing things for church. I mean...why bother contributing or committing to something when you're just going to go against it in secret? Plus it would've been a lot easier to deal with all of this...stuff...going on with people I know. I probably would just not care and let it be.

I'm probably exaggerating...but I can't help but feel a heartache. I love my friends. I love my family. But I think it would be a lot less painful if I didn't.

Perfect ending to a kinda-sorta bad day

Today was a Wednesday. Wednesdays are my busy days of the week. It is the day when I have the most classes...actually only two classes...which is the most that I have throughout the week.

First I had Reading-82 where I get to sit behind my girlfriend. That class is pretty chill, there's a lot of homework but it's pretty easy, the quizzes and tests are pretty easy too. It's just a long class...and kinda boring. Today my girlfriend forced me to stay throughout the entire class when we could've just left during the break since our teacher already took role and we already took our quiz...but she made me stay...haha.

My second class on Wednesdays is MUC-1 (a music studio performance techniques class). To tell the truth...this class was not what I expected. I thought we were going to get to use the studio either individually or in groups...NOPE. We all had to choose a group to be in (the group's are different genres) and then get together and prepare a cover song to record OR...be prepared to teach an original to the rest of the group to record. It sounded pretty fun at first...but I missed a few meetings and classes. I tried to keep up through emails though. Rehearsals are another thing too. You rehearse in front of the class. When I have a concert or show to play at...I usually prefer practicing in my room by myself...I can't even deal with nervousness for class presentation...

So today...my group was going into the studio to rehearse or prepare to record...I dunno I wasn't really paying attention...I didn't really know what was going on...so I just left.

Later...I picked up my girlfriend and we both went to another side of Mt.Rubidoux that I had never climbed before. She brought a package of oreos that I gave her while she was sick and craving for oreos...haha...and we both sat on a boulder that was fairly high, ate some oreos, took some pictures, and watched the sunset. A perfect ending to a kinda-sorta bad day.

Reasons why I love Sheena Decano

I love Sheena because…

1. …she’s really pretty
2. …she can always make me smile
3. …she can be really silly
4. …of the sound effects she makes especially when describing her tummy
5. …she always makes me laugh even when she’s not doing anything funny
6. …of her face
7. …she loves going on adventures
8. …she loves eating!
9. …she smells like tropical islands I used to vacation to...
10. …she keeps me updated on when her tummy makes a noise
11. …she loves me even when I’m a complete jerk to her
12. …she’s very ticklish
13. …of her kisses ;)
14. …she’s really nice…she almost bought me an inflatable sofa…that’s love
15. …I’m completely comfortable with her
16. …she’s close with a lot of my family…especially my cousins
17. …she likes the way I sing :D
18. …she has really good tastes in music
19. …because even Brandy approves of her
20. …because I’ve spent almost every day with her for the last couple months…and I’m falling more and more in love with her every day…

Tonight...

a few people seem to hate me right now...its times like these when i really miss CERTAIN FRIENDS that moved to PUC...

Dream - Guitar girl

My favorite acoustic epiphone guitar...the one that I record both music and videos with...the one that I always perform with...was in this dream...

It started out in my room. I was laying in my bed watching TV at night. Then all of sudden some stars slowly start to drift from the night sky through my window...they floated all the way to my guitar and touched it. My precious epiphone acoustic started to glow...and as it did it started to grow and change shape.

When the stars went back to the sky and the light faded down...I could see that my guitar had turned into a girl. :O She had tannish skin, her dress was like a mixture of yellow and beige [the main color of my guitar], she had long curly brown hair, green eyes, and a great smile! She looked like she was a mix of asian and white haha. Her hair was held in the back by my capo.

We then started talking. At first I was a little shy but then she told me all these things that she already knew about me. All my songs, all my inspirations, places I have performed, etc. I realized then that she was my epiphone acoustic guitar.

She laid next to me, kissed my cheek, and we just started talking about all the performances we have been through. Then she put her on my chest and started singing softly using my heart as a metronome. Her voice reminded me of a G-chord slowly being picked...



...then I woke up... :(

Dream - Stranded

This was one of my more interesting ones...I was talking with an alien haha. I remember almost all of the conversation. But here's the first part:

I was some kind of scientist/astronaut who was sent on a lone mission to an asteroid passing by earth. The asteroid was supposed to be a chunk of a planet that got destroyed and still has its own atmosphere filled with oxygen :D. So when I got to it something went wrong with the spaceship and I crashed onto the rock. When I got out of the broken down ship I did some esplorin'.

I went inside a cave and found a small pond with glowing rocks at the bottom and glowing little fish swimming around...I was all "Coool!" Then an alien poked my shoulder from behind. He was my height, greyish, and bug eyed [your typical alien]. At first I was scared but then he started talking to me saying that it's okay and that he won't hurt me. He also crashed onto the asteroid. -_-

Next thing I know...we were sitting on a small hill talking about each of our worlds. Then...being the silly little Christian boy that I am...I asked if he was Christian :D. He said no :(. He said that on his planet they did not need a Christ to save them and that they talk and walk with God all the time :O. I asked how. He said that his planet never fell to sin! And that his people only seem to die when they visit earth.

Then we started talking about food on each of our planets...



...then I woke up...






[this is what happens if you consume too much sugar, watch a lot of movies, read a lot of books, and play a lot of video games.........and have more sugar]

Nightmare - May I have some water?

[hope you like my silly titles!]


This was a dream that started in my room so...it seemed pretty real. I got out of bed because I was thirsty and wanted some water. So I walked throughout my house in the dark [I didn't want to turn any lights on because I didn't want to wake anyone up plus I could see everything pretty clearly]. I went downstairs to the kitchen and grab a water bottle from the refrigerator.

There is a sliding door at the back of the kitchen that leads to the backyard. The moon's light was shining through there and as I was walking back toward the stairs I saw a shadow move along the floor where the moon light was shining on. So I turned around and saw through the sliding door out in the backyard a dark cloaked person. Then I started towards the stairs a little faster.

As I took each step up I could hear a breathing noise, as if one where quivering, getting closer. When I finally reached the top of the stairs an old voice whispered into my ear "May I have some water?"

When I turned around I saw an old woman in a black cloak. Tears were coming down her face which showed no emotion. Her hair was completely soaked and was dripping black ink...and she had no teeth :O

So then...PSH I ran back to my room, shut the door, and hid under my blanket! After that the old woman started banging and screaming on my door.



...then I woke up...

Dream blogs...

Alright...so...usually I have really bizarre, funny, scary, random dreams. There has never been a night when I would have a dream of something normal or something that could actually happen in real life. It has always been something completely outrageous or dramatic. So from now on I'll write them out both in a notebook and on here!






if I can remember them that is...




The first few I'll probably just copy from my silly little dream book which has ones that I have had in the past.

A Story by Elissa Imai

One day there was a boy who liked a girl, and he wrote songs about her and thought she was funny and awesome. Also, when she walked into a room she seemed to be brighter than the sun. He would just be sitting in his room and couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was as though she was that missing piece. He knew that he just fell in love way too easily, but it didn’t matter. He still wrote those corny lyrics and silly melodies for her, and whenever he saw her they both just knew. "Without her"… all he had was his rapper friend and wonderful manager friend. ;] and when the spring showers came and it was the fall of night, he still thought about her, but then he realized… HE NEEDS TO TELL HIS BESTEST, MOST WONDERFUL FRIEND ELISSA WHO SHE IS! :]] hahahaha



The End

How to Live

Originally from eHow.com.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and happiness can be found within a life lived with meaning. A person's true nature must be nourished to live a happy life. Happiness follows when an individual discovers a personal path to spiritual fulfillment. Vitality grows from a healthy diet and a healthy mind.

Step 1

Start living a life of meaning. Life is far too short to spend it in endless futile frustration. Change is the key to self-realization. Leave behind a fear of change and embrace the transforming power of the universe. Invest each day with powerful individual importance.

Step 2

Grow spiritually healthy by nourishing the soul with the ideas of wise individuals. Great thinkers abound and wise teachers illuminate a fresh path to follow. Read the teachings of other cultures. It is far too easy and comfortable to stay with the familiar and live a life of complacency.

Step 3

Examine the common events of each day. Take note of the parts of the day when time slows down. These are periods of stress and frustration. Stress is often self-generating. During those moments of stress, breathe deeply three times and hold each breath for 10 seconds before exhaling. This breaks the cycle of stress and calms the mind.

Step 4

Explore one's inner thoughts and beliefs. Many of the emotional and mental ties that bind people to a boring existence are placed there by external forces, such as parents, school, neighbors or employers. Discover the truth within; question if fears are real or unfounded. Meditation is a fine method for relaxation and self-discovery.

Step 5

Eat healthy to live a long, fulfilling life. Good health depends as much on proper eating as it does on medical attention. Reduce the amounts of fat, meats and junk. Increase the amounts of vegetables and add variety. A healthier diet is the key to vigorous longevity. Drink more water during the day as well and reduce the dependency on caffeine and other artificial stimulants.

Dancing

"At some point in our lives we must each go out into the world and do our own little dance...and sometimes people may even join you." These were one of the last pieces of wisdom that my economics teacher gave my class. He said this to us less than a week before our final...after we watched an inspiring youtube video that he felt compelled to show us.

Here's the video:
:D

How to: Install Love

taken from a post by http://timirose.tumblr.com/


How To: Install Love.
Way too cute. It helps.

How to Install LOVE

Tech Support: Hello … how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install
Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you
located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and
Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get
the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error
- Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set
up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the
following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your
Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The
system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but
eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed
and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Had another outrageous dream last night! I think i'm gonna start writing them out on here...cause some are quite entertaining..Haha

Sigh...graduation is almost here. I'm scared to live the real world. It feels like this summer is the last summer...

Websites!

Just wanted to post a few websites:

youtube.com/danielsnotcool

myspace.com/ihatetuning

and

twitter.com/danielsnotcool

Favorites?

This thought just came into my mind while i was thinking about...stuff. Am I anyone's favorite person? Or one of someone's favorite people? And from that I started thinking about who my favorite people were, so here are 10 of them...in no particular order [just in the order of who I think of...ha!]

Elissa Imai: My [ahem] manager. Shes an awesome person! Shes funny, she likes good music, and shes a cool person to talk to. I swear my text inbox is usually full of her texts...-_-. A lot of people at my school [she does not go to my school by the way] think that shes my girlfriend...but shes not! Shes just a really good friend! Easily one of my favorite people.

Jordan Amini: I met this hotty back when I was like in 7th or 8th grade. His school and my school went to this bible camp up at big bear and he and I were put in the same 2-3 people group...and thats how we met! It wasn't until like a couple years later when I started talking with him a lot more. And he turned out to be a pretty cool rapper and video person! Haha! He's mah brotha from anotha motha...-_- lame. But yeah! He was there at my first concert...he was there through my stressful times...he was there at my second big concert...and he was there to watch mama mia with me...

Michael Perez: An amazing musician...especially when it comes to guitar. He's the guitarist of a band called Iguana Stu. He's pretty funny too haha. This guy actually goes to my school...and he's always driving me like almost every where! I feel kinda bad that he does though...but he's cool! Woo! Michael!

Elizabeth Chan: Shes like a sister to me! She goes to my school too...we have like a few classes together but we hang out a lot! Shes another person whos cool to talk to. And shes also a really good musician too! She and I sing duets together! :D!!! She also drives me around a lot haha [gosh i need to get my license].

Briahn Sympayan: This guy is hilarious to be around! haha. I used to be in a band with this guy too! He's a pretty good songwriter. I thought that he was one of the best songwriters in our band. But we broke up as a band...but thats another story! Briahn skateboards, plays drums, sings, plays piano...and...dances haha! He also seems to always go to most of my performances. Briahn...

Lauren Tieri: The manager of Michael Perez's band Iguana Stu! She's actually pretty professional when it comes to being a manager...but when she's just herself she is really...fun to be around. haha! Oh! She was also the inspiration for my song Brighter Than The Sun Check it out here! She's a really nice girl! She's really pretty, shes funny, shes good [when it comes to the purities and unpurities of life...tee hee!], and shes just...brighter than the sun! She always seems to be happy and smiling and cheerful. If a day came where shes was sad...I think my heart would just break...but yeah! Lauren is amazing!

hmmm...who else........

OH YEAH!

Adriana Noland : Elissa's partner in crime hahaha [atleast thats what it looks like to me...] This girl is awesome! She and Elissa usually come to my performances too! And her nickname for me is Big D! How awesome is that!? hahaha. Yeah. This girl has made me feel special :D lol. So she one of my favorite people!

Haruka Ito: Hahahahahaha! I don't really see Haruka a lot but when I do...she always makes me smile! Words to describe Haruka I guess would be...goofy, silly, fun, nice, random, hmmm...cool! She is just contagious with smiles!

Valerie Aluyon: This person is also like a sister to me. She also acts as my personal music critic. She tells me what she likes and doesn't like about my songs...what parts are kinda off...or sound kinda weird...or sound really niiice...and yeah! She out of everyone else tells me the truth about what she thinks of my music. What else...oh and whenever she comes over my house...sometimes she even cooks for us haha! Shes like always wanting food or taking a nap whenever she visits. Woo! Yeah i consider Valerie family.

okay! last but certainly not least!!!

John Bobe: I went to school with this guy...but I didn't meet him until after he graduated...I'm not sure when exactly haha. This guy has been really supportive to me. He's really fun to be around. He seems to know a lot about...I dunno! Stuff! Life! I respect his opinion very much. I also consider him to be family! I love this guy...:D



Well! Those were 10 of my favorite people! There are WAAAAAY more but I don't feel like typing for all of them. I love them but...yeah...lol. Soooo...whoever is reading this should ask themselves...Who are your favorite people? and Are you anyone's favorite person? I'm preeetty sure everyone is atleast one person's favorite.









I'm thirsty...

I love my mom!

So last week my mom was bothering me to get my work experience hours done and turned in for my high school. She wouldn't leave me alone about it and it got me kinda irritated and a bit mad. It got me to think stuff like Ugh...this is all my mom ever does. And it made me remember other times similar to that.

But now...

I MISS MY MOM! Shes gone on a little vacation with her sisters (my aunts) and her mom (grandmother) for ten days in Mexico to revisit the town from which they used to live in before they got here in the U.S. So now it's just me, my sister, and my dad...and I've never felt more lonely. To me the house has never seemed more empty. My mom is the one who understands me the most out of all my family members...and shes like the only one in my family who I can actually talk to about anything! I swear! Anything! I've told her about how I secretly drank a couple of shots of tequila while we were all on vacation in Cancun (we are a church going family...so that's bad) and I've also told her about this one time when I got caught by security with a girl in a changing room at a mall and almost got arrested...and she laughed at both occasions! She didn't laugh because she doesn't care though haha. She laughed at the fact that I was terrified that I thought I was going to jail and that I didn't even know that that was against the law! And at my first experience drinking such strong alcohol (it was intense...my throat burned...my sinus cleared up...whoa!). But it kinda does seem like she doesn't care.

But she does! She really really does! My dad is pretty cool...but he likes to push and force me to grow up fast...its kinda like he throws me of a mountain...so that I can learn to climb back up by myself. I know he means well but its tough.

My mom is all loving and nice...and loving! With her being gone I've realized that shes what makes the house glow! What gives my home a "home-ish" feeling! I guess shes what makes me feel homesick. Shes never been too strict about big choices and things in life...like...religion (but that doesnt mean shes not christian or anything haha. shes a big influence to me as a christian!), dating, career choices, music, etc!

so yeah...

to sum all this up....




i'm a momma's boy...and i miss my mom...-_-

Okay...

So...i still have a crush on some girl. Same girl from that dream. i thought that by now it would be gone...but now its kinda getting stronger and i dont know how to express it!





so i'll just sing about it. -_-

Birthday Party/Bible conference meeting.

last night...my birthday party was crazy!!! it started at around 2 cuz alot of ppl came early, but i had to leave to go to a bible conference meeting in loma linda [haha i went to my cousins and friends and was like, "well...hope you guys have fun..."] yeah.

my friend elizabeth's mom took her and i to loma linda. when we got there the other schools that are part of the bible conference were there. we later met up with a few of other ppl from our school so we kinda stuck with each other...one of the coolest part though was seeing two ppl that i had met from a mexico mission trip a couple of years ago: sarah and ashlee. and also pastor jason! haha. eventually elissa and friends came and then there was a short worship in the lla chapel.

then each uh..."Category" of group...ppl...were called away into separate meetings. group leaders, praise band auditions, and drama team. [oh! and i also saw someone from my old school (clarissa)] eventually everyone was gone and i was just sitting by myself in the chapel...cuz i was a tech guy...and they didnt call the tech guys to do anything. so i started walking around and i met this redlands person who was also a tech guy. he didnt know where he was supposed to go either. so we kinda just walked for a while until we found someone who [i guess] was somewhat partly in charge...? the redlands guy [yeah i forgot his name...something with two letters. aj? jt? rd? lt? ...he was asian] asked the person who [i guess] was somewhat-partly-in charge where the tech guys are supposed to meet.

"well today we don't really have anything for the tech crew." -_-

so i went to join the group leaders' meeting cuz thats where elizabeth, elissa and friends, and ashlee were. the meeting was pretty cool. but me and elizabeth had to leave early for my party...so as we were leaving...i went to hug elissa to say goodbye..and she and her big mouth! "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!" and then ashlee "its his birthday?! hey everyone! its daniel's birthday! lets sing to him!!!" so the whole group of leader's sang...haha.

the party!
it was pretty crazy. we had over a hundred ppl at our house...I DIDNT KNOW HALF OF THE PPL THERE! it was mostly family...but thank goodness that some of my friends showed up. it was pretty cool. music, dancing, food, video games upstairs, kareoke, and games. there was also a slideshow presentation with a bunch of my pictures of me growing up...my mom chose the pictures...my cousins and sister chose the music. then i guess me and a few of my friends got kinda bored...so we recorded a few songs in the dark..in my room...screamo style. haha. not saying that i'm really really into that kind of music though. my aunt made my caked! which looked like a guitar! i still have it in my freezer! i dont want to eat it...not that i think it'll taste bad...its that it looks sooo coooool! there was also a wall with a giant poster with pictures of me on it where ppl would sign "happy birthday" and stuff.

later elissa and friends came! woooo! haha and my family got them to dance! and quite a few of my cousins thought that elissa was my girlfriend...no. noooo. fricken joy...haha.

so yeah...after that night i was dead. so i just went to sleep. and this morning when i woke up...i was sore!

I turn 18 on saturday!

I'm going to be officially old! :(

Oh no!

So for quite a while now I have been trying to see if I should take more interest in someone that I know [i'm so lame...]. I would talk with her, try to make dumb jokes to her, chat with her [lol], leave her some comments every now and then...and yeah! But I don't like...overflow her with all that talking and stuff. I don't because if I do...I'm afraid that she'll probably get annoyed of me and I'll just be some daily conversation or something.

Eventually I decided that she'll probably never take any kind of interest in me haha. So I stopped. I still talk to her every now and then...but...yeah.

But then on the night of January 4 2008...well...technically it was morning already...on the morning of January 5 2008 at 1am...I had that dream. That dream that inspired me to write that poem from my music myspace (the one in the first blog i posted). It was one of the best dreams i had had in a looooooooong time. My previous ones the nights before have all been nightmares...but thats for a different blog.

by the way come check out my music at my
youtube and my music myspace

and every now and then i'll broadcast live on blogtv



So yeah! Because of that dream...I guess I have a crush on that girl that I was talking about before...and I've never felt more dooooomed in my entire life.

From a dream...

[i'm just taking this from my myspace]

I wrote this in a dream! Not with words but with images. Haha..and I fell asleep trying to make up a song in my head...

The words of my songs are embodied by her

The dreams that inspire them smile through her

The heart that dreams this is in love with her

But the love that it feels is not answered

A pursuit that kind of seems meaningless

A muse who doesn't see her result

A feeling that can lead to ruin

But a reason and hope to sing for

A face to create a smile

A feeling to act on

A dream to sing about

A love to fight for

Her body to keep warm

Her lips to kiss forever

Her eyes to escape into

Her heart to care for

If only she would

At least by accident

Turn her gaze

In my direction

To feel her stare

Or any other connection

Is to step into heaven

For just a little moment

...i had to wake up and write all this down before i forgot it...but...i still forgot some...gah!